Tuesday, 6 November 2012

On a mission

Can't believe this blog now has 100 posts! Most of them are complete and utter pants but heyho!

As the title suggests, I'm on a mission. It's obviously coming to that time of year when the weather is mainly rubbish, it's getting darker, colder, wetter, and more difficult to remain optimistic about life and everything involved in it. After my journey into the deepest darkest corners of my mind at the start of this year, I have decided I need to take steps to make sure I don't end up there again. There was the added complication of being unwell at the time and being given drugs which make you feel even worse, but there is always the possibility that could happen again anyway. As a direct result of feeling so crap I lost friends and wasted day after day wallowing in my own sadness.

I already feel a bit better now I'm walking with Fionn every day. We generally walk for between 1 hour and 2.5 hours each day, which is a lot but is starting to feel good. I think I've now managed a whole week without needing to sleep in the afternoon. My annual review lung function was done last week and had gone up by 3% (20% since April) so my lungs are feeling pretty good. My tummy is feeling better now my creon is sorted (1 creon for every 5g of fat) and although my sinuses are infected, I'm so used to them being painful that I barely notice any more unless they're particularly bad.

I have a set up a pinterest and I'm using it at the moment to store things I can look at to keep my mind in a positive state. I generally don't go for the "inspirational quotes" type stuff, I find it all quite sickening at times to be honest, but I'm choosing some that strike a chord and remind me that I'm not actually useless, worthless or any of the other things that we can all feel at times.

Work is pretty steady. I'm up to a ridiculous 22 pupils: 4 on a Monday, 3 on a Tuesday, 7 on a Friday and 8 on a Saturday. Friday and Saturday are all on the mainland, so I still have a way to go to get busier on Arran but it'll happen (and thankfully I've filled the gaps left when 2 or 3 pupils left). I have 4 kids working towards grade 1 at the moment, although I'm anticipating only 2 of them will be ready for the March run.

Tomorrow I'm going to the choir conductors house to "audition" for solos. It's more a "come along and sing some stuff" and if I'm good enough I'll be added to the list of people who are willing to sing solos. The only solo available at the moment is no use to me because of the style, but I'll be keeping my eyes and ears open for 1 that would suit me.


  1. Wow you're doing really well with the amount of students! Friday and Saturday sounds pretty manic though!

    Glad your annual review went ok :)I know what you mean about sinuses. I'm the same- I only notice them if they're so bad I can hardly open my eyes or I get a nosebleed.

    Hope the solo audition went well? I think it's a good idea listening to everyone who's willing to sing a solo sing. You can choose songs with people in mind then.


  2. glad you are doing well and am mighty impressed with all your walking!!