the bigger picture

After spending all of Wednesday feeling anxious about clinic on Thursday it turned out to be the most productive visit I've had in ages.

For the first time in a year I saw a consultant. What a difference it can make having a different pair of eyes.

I was immediately sent for a chest X-ray because of the bleeding which was worse than my pre-IV X-ray. I also had a "bad" X-ray in October so there were a few there to compare it to. My right lung in particular is full of mucus plugs blocking off the lower airways and it's like trying to unstick glue. Even with the help of a physio there was no movement what-so-ever. The weird part, though, was that my lung function was actually up. Only slightly, but still up. I don't know sometimes.

I'm always being told "you're lung function is fine" even though I can clearly see and feel that it's been dropping. Finally, someone took the time to look backwards and see that in fact my lung function, although not horrendous by any means, was not "fine" - I'd lost about 15% in a year. On a good day. So because I complain of tightness a lot and not managing to get anything up during physio but ending up in a wheezy mess instead, he decided to try salbutamol through nebuliser, and although it felt like I'd inhaled water (honestly thought it had been completely useless), it put my lung function up to a figure I thought I'd never see again. Stoked. He changed my steroid inhaler to a better 1 too.

That does mean that I've come full circle on the asthma front - having had it as a kid, for it to bugger off, then come back. I don't mind though, now that it's been confirmed it's there, it can be treated.

As for the bleeding, nobody knows. I'm not allergic to my aspergillus, my bloods were fine, so I just have to hope it was maybe very irritated airways or something.

It was a weird atmosphere...relaxed but intense.


So I left on a bit of a high for a change. I went to visit a couple of very good friends last night for a catch up as I don't see them nearly enough with living on Arran. It was great to get some girly chat, as I don't have anywhere near enough female friends on Arran who are around my age. Or who I know well for that matter.

Anyway, I don't really have much else to say, just wanted to write what had happened at clinic because it finally feels like something good happened.