feeling a bit more positive

I'm not gonna apologise for my last blog, it helped me get to sleep that night, but I wish I hadn't let it build up so long and that I'd just talked about it before it got out of hand...I'm a nightmare for that.

Anyway, I feel a bit better this week. I was experiencing my worst PMS in a long time last week! I don't tend to get emotional now that I take evening primrose oil every day (which has been a life saver) so it came as a bit of a shock and got a bit out of control. It's also helped reduce my physical symptoms and my periods don't last as long either which is great as they were lasting 7 - 10 days for a long time.

Anyhoooo, enough about my monthlies, I have better news.

It's panto week! Tonight was the first performance and it went well...a few hic-cups, but nothing major I guess. Only problem is that where the band are sitting it's absolutely freezing, so I struggled to play properly for a while as my fingers seezed up. Anyway, tomorrow is another day and hopefully it won't be so bad. It's been -5degrees at night though and the cast keep leaving the back door open for them to smoke, and it sends a draft right into the hall, underneath the stage, and out the other end where we're sitting! So not only am I freezing but I can smell their smoke, which I hate.

I started piano teaching again last week. My first day went really well, and tomorrow is my 2nd day. I have 4 students so far, aged 8, 9, 16 and 40, so it's quite a mix! Hopefully it'll continue to go well and I'll continue to get more students...I think there were a few enquiries for block lessons as christmas presents and the likes, so maybe after christmas I'll be inundated! haha

On the health front...nothing overly exciting, just my tummy acting up as usual...might need to give the hospital a call to get in for some kleanprep, as the movicol just doesn't cut it. I've had a lot of pain today and been feeling nauseous and bleh really. There have been definite chest changes happening this year, 1 of which only became really apparent last night, and that was that the cold air made me chest really tight and I was wheezing like nothing else. Thankfully I'd lifted my inhaler incase the stage smoke irritated things, but turned out I needed it before even getting started.

Next week I hope to start my christmas shopping :) I'm really looking forward to it, I love buying presents for people, but we're on a tight budget this year, especially as James' motorbike has a puncture so needs at least 1 new tyre, and my car needs 4! Euch. I'm also due to get the car serviced and my road tax is due at the end of December...just seems like a never ending list of things to do, and just when you think you have a bit of money, something happens to use it all up again.

I really hope everyone is feeling well, thinking about you all as always! x

is this how an angry mother feels?

possibly?

I'm so raging...deep inside, I can't shake it. It's always there at the moment, and it's basically because all I'm doing is running around after people and getting absolutely no thanks for it. A burning rage that is stopping me sleeping (as if I didn't have enough of a problem sleeping at the moment).

I spend my working day running around after people and getting fuck all thanks for it, then I come home and cook and clean and run around after his royal highness who can't even wash a bloody plate. I know he has a hard uni course to do, but all I'm asking is that he at least contribute to the running of this place...all he needs to do is wash the dishes, and I'm sitting here again without a single fucking clean cup, glass, plate or tea spoon, all of which there are many, cause they haven't fucking been washed.

I feed the animals, clean them out, make dinner, clean both the bathrooms, put both our rubbish in the bin (cause he's apparently allergic to putting things in the bin too), tidy, hoover...then go and do it all again at work.

The only reason I'm even mentioning it on here is cause I've done nothing but moan for days about how nothing is getting done, and its still not done...

I'm so angry I could cry...granted I'm a bit hormonal, but what female isn't.

I might as well live myself at this rate, at least then I would only have myself to blame but I would probably have a tidier house anyway.

facing facts

Well, I had to face facts today and go buy smaller bras lol. My weight has been falling since at least July and I must've gone down 2 sizes...first time in ages and it feels a bit weird but nevermind. Even the smaller sizes I bought when I lost weight last year don't fit now.

Thankfully I'm not too thin but if I can't stablise my weight or at least start maintaining again then the dietician wants me on supplements...and that'll be the first time since I was about 16 I think. I actually can't remember when I stopped taking them but nevermind, it's been ages anyway.

I don't really know what else to talk about, everything else is really just the same. I've been applying for new jobs and getting no where so far but I've sent another application away today so fingers crossed! I'm starting piano teaching again on Thursday :) I have 3 students so far on a Thursday afternoon/evening and I have space for another 3 before having to start another day. Thankfully this time I will be able to teach what and how I want to, instead of having to teach Yamaha's keyboard course and teaching in the way they do...it was extremely unnatural for me and I didn't enjoy it at all.

Hope everyone is feeling as well as possible and having a good weekend :) x