ridiculous...?

I find it strange that even though I was at a friends' house for dinner tonight, I feel very lonely. It feels ridiculous to me that I feel like I don't really have anybody when I know I do. I have James for a start, and lots of friends who I know love me, as well as my family...so how is it possible to still feel like you're so alone at times. No matter how many times I try to convince myself otherwise, I just feel alone sometimes...we all must have times like that though, right?

I know I'm physically alone tonight (James is out all night) and that can make me feel worse, but it's not only that.

My work, for example, is a nightmare for it. Everybody is so two-faced it's hard to know who you can trust. And even the people I feel at times I can trust tend to let me down...I hate how false people can be. I know we're all guilty of it at times, I guess it's just a need to please and be professional under the circumstances...but is it really necessary?

Don't really know where this is going to be honest. I have a few people at the moment I'm  just not getting...it's a bit weird cause for a while I considered them good friends, but now I just don't know what's going on. I like to think people can talk to me and tell me if I've done something to offend or upset, and know that we'll all be adult about it and move on...just feel a bit let down and I'm struggling a bit to let it go.

Anyway, my "spoil myself" bath turned into me lying in some hot bubbles for a while and messing about with the cat. No scrubs, lotions or potions were touched, even though I had them all sitting ready, just didn't have the energy to bother, especially in the heat, so I tried to get the cat to come into the bath (just so I had something to laugh at) but he was having none of it - although, he did sport a rather fetching bubble hat for a while. Hilarious.

To bed now, hope everyone is well x