need a break

Well, my day at work was absolutely horrific. I was working with a client who is normally not very challenging, but when he wants to be he can be VERY difficult...and he was today. I've never heard such awful language or seen behaviour like it in my life...8 hours has never felt longer! A 12 hour shift at Moorpark feels shorter than how today felt. Oh man! I actually felt myself welling up a few times out of sheer exhaustion and frustration, but the last thing I need is to cry at my work.

I came home and had an ambrosia creamed rice, some jelly snakes and tortilla chips...and a bottle of cider. Still feel stressed, a whole 3 hours later! I'm surprised my heart has stayed as calm, normally it'd be doing all sorts by this stage, but I'll see how the night goes, cause it often happens once I start to calm down.

I feel completely exhausted. My head is bursting, my knees and wrists are sore and I have a bit of cramp which just sucks. I don't like female cramps, partly cause I know it means I haven't got my wish to be a mother yet...not that we're trying cause he'd rather wait til we're more financially stable. I can't see how that'll ever happen and I don't wanna wait too long incase my health takes a turn! I feel it'd be best to try now while I'm still able, but I can't get that through to him...ah well, best not talk too much about that.

I'm going out tomorrow night! woop! Going to a ladies charity night for the Ayrshire Hospice which involve "sexy waiters" (are you kiddin me?! I know them...not so sexy lol) and burlesque dancers, feather boas essential! Can't wait, hopefully it'll be really fun, there's loads of people from work going so it should be a laugh.

Goodnight journal