happy new year! I know it's a bit late, but nevermind.
Reading all the blogs I read and seeing everybody posting their hopes for 2011 on facebook and such like has obviously got me thinking about the year to come and the year that has just ended.
2010 was different. My Gran passed away which left the whole family with mixed emotions. She was quite a challenging woman and alienated a lot of people, but she also loved us all...just didn't know how to show it. My older cousins and I all felt guilty about not making more of an effort to have a better relationship with her...my younger cousins and my brothers/sister didn't know her in the same way and I don't really know what they felt...strange and sad times.
I have been extremely lucky healthwise over the years, as will be clear to most, but 2010 saw some unexpected changes for me on that front. Nothing major but some new bugs and a hospital admission, meeting the diabetes team (but thankfully no insulin yet!) as well as a really crappy tummy and chest changes. My last sample of 2010 was clear apparently but it never seems to go with how I feel...each clear sample I've had I've been shocked by. BUT, can't complain!
I also had a couple of nice breaks away with James, got a kitten (yay!) and had some nice social engagements, although there could have been more of them. I met some lovely and inspirational people and also met some right bums. I started piano teaching again and am hoping that this will begin to grow in the coming year, but I'd also like a new job to go along with it. Nothing wrong with my care job really but it's sooooo tiring working shifts!
2011 will see me potentially uprooted when James starts his probationary year as a secondary English teacher. It will probably see us the poorest we've ever been when he leaves uni but isn't yet working...and that's an achievement as we've been pretty damn poor over the last 6 months.
So many things have happened that I can't even pull to the front of my mind at the moment, and so many things have yet to happen that I'm sure I couldn't even try to imagine.
I hope everyone has a great 2011!
Wednesday, 5 January 2011
Wednesday, 15 December 2010
a little ditty...
thought I'd give a quick(ish) update!
I had my work christmas night out on Friday which was pretty good, although some drama always has to happen! Thankfully I wasn't involved :) The meal was...average, nothing special, but there were 2 bands, 1 of which played motown which was awesome.
Um...I played a concert on Saturday with Stewarton Winds then went straight onto night shift. Mistake? Pretty much, I soooooooooo struggled to stay awake and really probably spent at least 2/3 hours of the shift asleep on the couch. Not good, so glad I didn't get caught lol.
On Monday, I went to Garters to see Lisa (physio) to talk through some airway clearance and get an eflow (genius btw). I hadn't received a phone call from the nurses (again) to tell me my sputum result, and even though I phoned and left a message, they never called back, so she sorted that out too. Turns out it grew aspergillus, which totally explains the increase in junk, the wheeze, the rotten cough, the tiredness, blah blah blah. They're not treating it just now though as, god only knows how, but my lung function was still stable. This always happens!! I rumble and crackle then cough like hell every day just now then go to the hospital and my chest behaves ever so well, then as soon as I was in the car home I was away with it again, coughed the whole half hour home. I still record my LF each week on a piko6 for a clinical trial and it's been kinda all over the place.
Anyway, I got some antibiotics incase the psuedo or my usual staph are kickin up a stink in there too, and got a flutter for some different physio. I really like it...not really on it's own as such, but mixed with AD and doing AD through it is good too.
Had a lovely dinner with friends tonight, and am pretty much on the go now right through til after christmas day, and I still don't have all the things I need! Euch, stress and sleepiness, can't be doing with either.
I had my work christmas night out on Friday which was pretty good, although some drama always has to happen! Thankfully I wasn't involved :) The meal was...average, nothing special, but there were 2 bands, 1 of which played motown which was awesome.
Um...I played a concert on Saturday with Stewarton Winds then went straight onto night shift. Mistake? Pretty much, I soooooooooo struggled to stay awake and really probably spent at least 2/3 hours of the shift asleep on the couch. Not good, so glad I didn't get caught lol.
On Monday, I went to Garters to see Lisa (physio) to talk through some airway clearance and get an eflow (genius btw). I hadn't received a phone call from the nurses (again) to tell me my sputum result, and even though I phoned and left a message, they never called back, so she sorted that out too. Turns out it grew aspergillus, which totally explains the increase in junk, the wheeze, the rotten cough, the tiredness, blah blah blah. They're not treating it just now though as, god only knows how, but my lung function was still stable. This always happens!! I rumble and crackle then cough like hell every day just now then go to the hospital and my chest behaves ever so well, then as soon as I was in the car home I was away with it again, coughed the whole half hour home. I still record my LF each week on a piko6 for a clinical trial and it's been kinda all over the place.
Anyway, I got some antibiotics incase the psuedo or my usual staph are kickin up a stink in there too, and got a flutter for some different physio. I really like it...not really on it's own as such, but mixed with AD and doing AD through it is good too.
Had a lovely dinner with friends tonight, and am pretty much on the go now right through til after christmas day, and I still don't have all the things I need! Euch, stress and sleepiness, can't be doing with either.
Wednesday, 24 November 2010
feeling a bit more positive
I'm not gonna apologise for my last blog, it helped me get to sleep that night, but I wish I hadn't let it build up so long and that I'd just talked about it before it got out of hand...I'm a nightmare for that.
Anyway, I feel a bit better this week. I was experiencing my worst PMS in a long time last week! I don't tend to get emotional now that I take evening primrose oil every day (which has been a life saver) so it came as a bit of a shock and got a bit out of control. It's also helped reduce my physical symptoms and my periods don't last as long either which is great as they were lasting 7 - 10 days for a long time.
Anyhoooo, enough about my monthlies, I have better news.
It's panto week! Tonight was the first performance and it went well...a few hic-cups, but nothing major I guess. Only problem is that where the band are sitting it's absolutely freezing, so I struggled to play properly for a while as my fingers seezed up. Anyway, tomorrow is another day and hopefully it won't be so bad. It's been -5degrees at night though and the cast keep leaving the back door open for them to smoke, and it sends a draft right into the hall, underneath the stage, and out the other end where we're sitting! So not only am I freezing but I can smell their smoke, which I hate.
I started piano teaching again last week. My first day went really well, and tomorrow is my 2nd day. I have 4 students so far, aged 8, 9, 16 and 40, so it's quite a mix! Hopefully it'll continue to go well and I'll continue to get more students...I think there were a few enquiries for block lessons as christmas presents and the likes, so maybe after christmas I'll be inundated! haha
On the health front...nothing overly exciting, just my tummy acting up as usual...might need to give the hospital a call to get in for some kleanprep, as the movicol just doesn't cut it. I've had a lot of pain today and been feeling nauseous and bleh really. There have been definite chest changes happening this year, 1 of which only became really apparent last night, and that was that the cold air made me chest really tight and I was wheezing like nothing else. Thankfully I'd lifted my inhaler incase the stage smoke irritated things, but turned out I needed it before even getting started.
Next week I hope to start my christmas shopping :) I'm really looking forward to it, I love buying presents for people, but we're on a tight budget this year, especially as James' motorbike has a puncture so needs at least 1 new tyre, and my car needs 4! Euch. I'm also due to get the car serviced and my road tax is due at the end of December...just seems like a never ending list of things to do, and just when you think you have a bit of money, something happens to use it all up again.
I really hope everyone is feeling well, thinking about you all as always! x
Anyway, I feel a bit better this week. I was experiencing my worst PMS in a long time last week! I don't tend to get emotional now that I take evening primrose oil every day (which has been a life saver) so it came as a bit of a shock and got a bit out of control. It's also helped reduce my physical symptoms and my periods don't last as long either which is great as they were lasting 7 - 10 days for a long time.
Anyhoooo, enough about my monthlies, I have better news.
It's panto week! Tonight was the first performance and it went well...a few hic-cups, but nothing major I guess. Only problem is that where the band are sitting it's absolutely freezing, so I struggled to play properly for a while as my fingers seezed up. Anyway, tomorrow is another day and hopefully it won't be so bad. It's been -5degrees at night though and the cast keep leaving the back door open for them to smoke, and it sends a draft right into the hall, underneath the stage, and out the other end where we're sitting! So not only am I freezing but I can smell their smoke, which I hate.
I started piano teaching again last week. My first day went really well, and tomorrow is my 2nd day. I have 4 students so far, aged 8, 9, 16 and 40, so it's quite a mix! Hopefully it'll continue to go well and I'll continue to get more students...I think there were a few enquiries for block lessons as christmas presents and the likes, so maybe after christmas I'll be inundated! haha
On the health front...nothing overly exciting, just my tummy acting up as usual...might need to give the hospital a call to get in for some kleanprep, as the movicol just doesn't cut it. I've had a lot of pain today and been feeling nauseous and bleh really. There have been definite chest changes happening this year, 1 of which only became really apparent last night, and that was that the cold air made me chest really tight and I was wheezing like nothing else. Thankfully I'd lifted my inhaler incase the stage smoke irritated things, but turned out I needed it before even getting started.
Next week I hope to start my christmas shopping :) I'm really looking forward to it, I love buying presents for people, but we're on a tight budget this year, especially as James' motorbike has a puncture so needs at least 1 new tyre, and my car needs 4! Euch. I'm also due to get the car serviced and my road tax is due at the end of December...just seems like a never ending list of things to do, and just when you think you have a bit of money, something happens to use it all up again.
I really hope everyone is feeling well, thinking about you all as always! x
Friday, 19 November 2010
is this how an angry mother feels?
possibly?
I'm so raging...deep inside, I can't shake it. It's always there at the moment, and it's basically because all I'm doing is running around after people and getting absolutely no thanks for it. A burning rage that is stopping me sleeping (as if I didn't have enough of a problem sleeping at the moment).
I spend my working day running around after people and getting fuck all thanks for it, then I come home and cook and clean and run around after his royal highness who can't even wash a bloody plate. I know he has a hard uni course to do, but all I'm asking is that he at least contribute to the running of this place...all he needs to do is wash the dishes, and I'm sitting here again without a single fucking clean cup, glass, plate or tea spoon, all of which there are many, cause they haven't fucking been washed.
I feed the animals, clean them out, make dinner, clean both the bathrooms, put both our rubbish in the bin (cause he's apparently allergic to putting things in the bin too), tidy, hoover...then go and do it all again at work.
The only reason I'm even mentioning it on here is cause I've done nothing but moan for days about how nothing is getting done, and its still not done...
I'm so angry I could cry...granted I'm a bit hormonal, but what female isn't.
I might as well live myself at this rate, at least then I would only have myself to blame but I would probably have a tidier house anyway.
I'm so raging...deep inside, I can't shake it. It's always there at the moment, and it's basically because all I'm doing is running around after people and getting absolutely no thanks for it. A burning rage that is stopping me sleeping (as if I didn't have enough of a problem sleeping at the moment).
I spend my working day running around after people and getting fuck all thanks for it, then I come home and cook and clean and run around after his royal highness who can't even wash a bloody plate. I know he has a hard uni course to do, but all I'm asking is that he at least contribute to the running of this place...all he needs to do is wash the dishes, and I'm sitting here again without a single fucking clean cup, glass, plate or tea spoon, all of which there are many, cause they haven't fucking been washed.
I feed the animals, clean them out, make dinner, clean both the bathrooms, put both our rubbish in the bin (cause he's apparently allergic to putting things in the bin too), tidy, hoover...then go and do it all again at work.
The only reason I'm even mentioning it on here is cause I've done nothing but moan for days about how nothing is getting done, and its still not done...
I'm so angry I could cry...granted I'm a bit hormonal, but what female isn't.
I might as well live myself at this rate, at least then I would only have myself to blame but I would probably have a tidier house anyway.
Saturday, 13 November 2010
facing facts
Well, I had to face facts today and go buy smaller bras lol. My weight has been falling since at least July and I must've gone down 2 sizes...first time in ages and it feels a bit weird but nevermind. Even the smaller sizes I bought when I lost weight last year don't fit now.
Thankfully I'm not too thin but if I can't stablise my weight or at least start maintaining again then the dietician wants me on supplements...and that'll be the first time since I was about 16 I think. I actually can't remember when I stopped taking them but nevermind, it's been ages anyway.
I don't really know what else to talk about, everything else is really just the same. I've been applying for new jobs and getting no where so far but I've sent another application away today so fingers crossed! I'm starting piano teaching again on Thursday :) I have 3 students so far on a Thursday afternoon/evening and I have space for another 3 before having to start another day. Thankfully this time I will be able to teach what and how I want to, instead of having to teach Yamaha's keyboard course and teaching in the way they do...it was extremely unnatural for me and I didn't enjoy it at all.
Hope everyone is feeling as well as possible and having a good weekend :) x
Thankfully I'm not too thin but if I can't stablise my weight or at least start maintaining again then the dietician wants me on supplements...and that'll be the first time since I was about 16 I think. I actually can't remember when I stopped taking them but nevermind, it's been ages anyway.
I don't really know what else to talk about, everything else is really just the same. I've been applying for new jobs and getting no where so far but I've sent another application away today so fingers crossed! I'm starting piano teaching again on Thursday :) I have 3 students so far on a Thursday afternoon/evening and I have space for another 3 before having to start another day. Thankfully this time I will be able to teach what and how I want to, instead of having to teach Yamaha's keyboard course and teaching in the way they do...it was extremely unnatural for me and I didn't enjoy it at all.
Hope everyone is feeling as well as possible and having a good weekend :) x
Wednesday, 27 October 2010
boring life
Life at this time of year is boring.
Seem to spend it trying not to spend money, not that we have any, but all we do is sit in. As well as trying not to spend money, I'm trying to earn money. I haven't had a single sick day this month, woo! I've felt like crap this week but I can't phone in sick when I only have 3 shifts a week and again they're talking about cutting bank staff hours. Instead of having us in for full shifts, we'll be brought in for 4/5 hours at a time, losing most of our unsocial premium and a lot of pay in the process. To make up for that, they say I can do more days...even though I have chosen to do less days so that I can try and keep on top of everything at home as well as work, and allow sufficient rest time in between. Obviously I don't have any significant lung disease and manage pretty well as far as that's concerned, but my digestion/sinus/joint issues are also exhausting and I'm constantly worn down by pain and feeling sick. I had gastritis a couple of weeks ago which was seriously painful. I still have pain coming back every now and then but fortunately it's not constant any more and my appetite is better, but not fantastic.
I had another appointment last week at the diabetes centre. Christine, the nurse, seemed quite pleased with me. Sporadic highs but some good control too so no insulin for me yet :) I'm assuming my HbA1c result was good as she was meant to phone me but hasn't. No more appointments made either, so that's me unless things go tits up, but I think she wants me to go to the joint clinic every now and then.
I've been finding my chest to be quite unpredictable too at the moment. I seem to have a few days at a time where physio is seriously uneffective and I feel dry and don't cough...then all of a sudden I'll be coughing stuff up for days and coughing til I'm nearly sick, and sometimes I am sick...but as quick as it comes it goes again. I know there must still be stuff in there, otherwise it wouldn't be happening, but I just can't figure it out. Anyone have any ideas there? lol. One of the young men I support at work was all worried on Friday cause I couldn't stop coughing. Bless, he was telling me to get a nice warm bath when I got home and get some rest so I'd feel better, and on Monday he kept asking if I was feeling better. Now, doesn't sound significant, but if you knew this person you'd understand that, although he is caring at heart, he struggles a lot with social situations and usually prefers to make himself heard by shouting abuse and talking about bodily functions etc, so it really was unexpected and I felt terrible for causing him concern.
All that aside, our new kitten is getting crazy. He's gonna need fixed ASAP, or our flat will not cope with him, and neither will the rabbit. We had let the rabbit out with him a couple of times but she doesn't like him trying to bite and kick her face. Now, though, he has started hunting things and makes the most weird, horrible growl when he thinks he's made a kill (even though it's never something living and today was a rapper from my christmas cake lol). I doubt they'll be out together again until he's fixed which is a shame cause rabby wants out a lot so he needs shut out in the hall.
Seem to spend it trying not to spend money, not that we have any, but all we do is sit in. As well as trying not to spend money, I'm trying to earn money. I haven't had a single sick day this month, woo! I've felt like crap this week but I can't phone in sick when I only have 3 shifts a week and again they're talking about cutting bank staff hours. Instead of having us in for full shifts, we'll be brought in for 4/5 hours at a time, losing most of our unsocial premium and a lot of pay in the process. To make up for that, they say I can do more days...even though I have chosen to do less days so that I can try and keep on top of everything at home as well as work, and allow sufficient rest time in between. Obviously I don't have any significant lung disease and manage pretty well as far as that's concerned, but my digestion/sinus/joint issues are also exhausting and I'm constantly worn down by pain and feeling sick. I had gastritis a couple of weeks ago which was seriously painful. I still have pain coming back every now and then but fortunately it's not constant any more and my appetite is better, but not fantastic.
I had another appointment last week at the diabetes centre. Christine, the nurse, seemed quite pleased with me. Sporadic highs but some good control too so no insulin for me yet :) I'm assuming my HbA1c result was good as she was meant to phone me but hasn't. No more appointments made either, so that's me unless things go tits up, but I think she wants me to go to the joint clinic every now and then.
I've been finding my chest to be quite unpredictable too at the moment. I seem to have a few days at a time where physio is seriously uneffective and I feel dry and don't cough...then all of a sudden I'll be coughing stuff up for days and coughing til I'm nearly sick, and sometimes I am sick...but as quick as it comes it goes again. I know there must still be stuff in there, otherwise it wouldn't be happening, but I just can't figure it out. Anyone have any ideas there? lol. One of the young men I support at work was all worried on Friday cause I couldn't stop coughing. Bless, he was telling me to get a nice warm bath when I got home and get some rest so I'd feel better, and on Monday he kept asking if I was feeling better. Now, doesn't sound significant, but if you knew this person you'd understand that, although he is caring at heart, he struggles a lot with social situations and usually prefers to make himself heard by shouting abuse and talking about bodily functions etc, so it really was unexpected and I felt terrible for causing him concern.
All that aside, our new kitten is getting crazy. He's gonna need fixed ASAP, or our flat will not cope with him, and neither will the rabbit. We had let the rabbit out with him a couple of times but she doesn't like him trying to bite and kick her face. Now, though, he has started hunting things and makes the most weird, horrible growl when he thinks he's made a kill (even though it's never something living and today was a rapper from my christmas cake lol). I doubt they'll be out together again until he's fixed which is a shame cause rabby wants out a lot so he needs shut out in the hall.
Sunday, 17 October 2010
just a little one
Look how cute! This is Tumble, our 6 year anniversary present to each other...although, really James forked out the cash, I'm just taking care of everything else. Our anniversary is on halloween, so we're a bit early but nevermind. We're not sure if we have a boy or girl, but I'm taking him/her for the first jag on Wednesday, so there'll be a sex check happening too.
Not much else to say really...not totally sure what's going on health wise, headaches are terrible, skin has completely freaked out and it's driving me crazy - so itchy!
Anyway, just thought I'd post a cute little piccy to hopefully make you all smile...if there's anyone reading that is!
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