but just thought I should really update.
So, I'm now working 3 days a week teaching piano! Well, I say 3 days, but so far I'm doing an hour on Mondays, 2.5 hours on a Thursday and my 1st half hour lesson on a Saturday is happening this week. So, that's 4 hours...great, but it'll hopefully continue to grow! I'm trying to think positive, and all the signs so far are looking good.
Things at my other job aren't looking so great. There are redundancies happening within the education team, meaning that teachers and resources/curriculum coordinaters are all losing jobs, other tutors are having their hours cut, some are taking voluntary redundancy even though they don't want to, purely because they have been lucky enough to find another job (that they also don't want, but money is money!) Our unit managers had to reapply for their jobs as well and 1 position is being closed to them...they found out on Monday who was leaving but I haven't heard yet. We have at least 5 clients leaving senior campus with nobody lined up to take their place, and 1 unit on junior campus is being closed and changed to accomodate a new respite service that's going to be offered. The loss of clients means that there will be full time staff running about with nothing to do, meaning that us punters at the bottom of the chain (bank staff) will have little to no hours made available to us...they have cancelled 2 shifts for me this month already and others have unfortunately had more cancelled. Considering I'm only working there 3 shifts a week, that's a big loss for me, but at least I do technically still have my job.
Many of us are under the impression that the place is imploding...
What a ramble! Anyway, if I lose my hours at work, I really need to build up to about 25/30 students to be able to survive, so quite a way to go yet.
Stressful and completely depressing times at work, the atmosphere is understandably horrific.
Everything else is as was really, except our flat is TIDY!!! WOOHOO!! who would have thought it would take us over a year to really move in lol, and we might be moving again come June/July, depending where James is sent for his probationary year. Sake lol.
Anyway, enough rambling
Tuesday, 18 January 2011
Saturday, 8 January 2011
forgot!
I can't believe I forgot to write about the 10k in the last post! I'm shocked and horrified at myself lol.
Anyway, in about June last year my uncle Alistair told me he was going to enter the Great Scottish Run for the CF Trust...and someone suggested I do it (for a laugh) but I took them up on it and started training. When I started, I couldn't run for 2 minutes let alone for 10k, but each day on the treadmill I saw improvements in my time and started to feel much better...so much better I suppose that I didn't even really pay attention to the classic signs of infection and figured I was just being melodramatic, but then landed up on the ward at the end of July lol. Everyone thought that was it for me and not one person expected me to say I was still doing the run. Of course I was! My main inspiration there was Kirsty, who did a 10k in May 6 months post transplant. There was absolutely no excuse for me not to do it.
Anyway, training resumed and that was it right til the 5th September when we did the run. I finished 15 minutes faster than predicted but had a serious episode of lungs closing over and couldnt breathe at all at the end, was a bit scary, but that's what happens when you push to the limit and then some. I wasn't happy at the end either, infact, I cried out of sheer exhaustion, but then obviously I started to feel proud that I'd done it. I've never been a runner, a dancer yes, but not a runner. I couldn't even do the 100m at school without jelly legs and that was when my CF was near enough symptom free apart from my tummy.
So, together my uncle Alistair and I raised just over £1000! :)
That was probably the biggest thing that happened in the year and I completely forgot to write about it.
Anyway, in about June last year my uncle Alistair told me he was going to enter the Great Scottish Run for the CF Trust...and someone suggested I do it (for a laugh) but I took them up on it and started training. When I started, I couldn't run for 2 minutes let alone for 10k, but each day on the treadmill I saw improvements in my time and started to feel much better...so much better I suppose that I didn't even really pay attention to the classic signs of infection and figured I was just being melodramatic, but then landed up on the ward at the end of July lol. Everyone thought that was it for me and not one person expected me to say I was still doing the run. Of course I was! My main inspiration there was Kirsty, who did a 10k in May 6 months post transplant. There was absolutely no excuse for me not to do it.
Anyway, training resumed and that was it right til the 5th September when we did the run. I finished 15 minutes faster than predicted but had a serious episode of lungs closing over and couldnt breathe at all at the end, was a bit scary, but that's what happens when you push to the limit and then some. I wasn't happy at the end either, infact, I cried out of sheer exhaustion, but then obviously I started to feel proud that I'd done it. I've never been a runner, a dancer yes, but not a runner. I couldn't even do the 100m at school without jelly legs and that was when my CF was near enough symptom free apart from my tummy.
So, together my uncle Alistair and I raised just over £1000! :)
That was probably the biggest thing that happened in the year and I completely forgot to write about it.
Wednesday, 5 January 2011
2011
happy new year! I know it's a bit late, but nevermind.
Reading all the blogs I read and seeing everybody posting their hopes for 2011 on facebook and such like has obviously got me thinking about the year to come and the year that has just ended.
2010 was different. My Gran passed away which left the whole family with mixed emotions. She was quite a challenging woman and alienated a lot of people, but she also loved us all...just didn't know how to show it. My older cousins and I all felt guilty about not making more of an effort to have a better relationship with her...my younger cousins and my brothers/sister didn't know her in the same way and I don't really know what they felt...strange and sad times.
I have been extremely lucky healthwise over the years, as will be clear to most, but 2010 saw some unexpected changes for me on that front. Nothing major but some new bugs and a hospital admission, meeting the diabetes team (but thankfully no insulin yet!) as well as a really crappy tummy and chest changes. My last sample of 2010 was clear apparently but it never seems to go with how I feel...each clear sample I've had I've been shocked by. BUT, can't complain!
I also had a couple of nice breaks away with James, got a kitten (yay!) and had some nice social engagements, although there could have been more of them. I met some lovely and inspirational people and also met some right bums. I started piano teaching again and am hoping that this will begin to grow in the coming year, but I'd also like a new job to go along with it. Nothing wrong with my care job really but it's sooooo tiring working shifts!
2011 will see me potentially uprooted when James starts his probationary year as a secondary English teacher. It will probably see us the poorest we've ever been when he leaves uni but isn't yet working...and that's an achievement as we've been pretty damn poor over the last 6 months.
So many things have happened that I can't even pull to the front of my mind at the moment, and so many things have yet to happen that I'm sure I couldn't even try to imagine.
I hope everyone has a great 2011!
Reading all the blogs I read and seeing everybody posting their hopes for 2011 on facebook and such like has obviously got me thinking about the year to come and the year that has just ended.
2010 was different. My Gran passed away which left the whole family with mixed emotions. She was quite a challenging woman and alienated a lot of people, but she also loved us all...just didn't know how to show it. My older cousins and I all felt guilty about not making more of an effort to have a better relationship with her...my younger cousins and my brothers/sister didn't know her in the same way and I don't really know what they felt...strange and sad times.
I have been extremely lucky healthwise over the years, as will be clear to most, but 2010 saw some unexpected changes for me on that front. Nothing major but some new bugs and a hospital admission, meeting the diabetes team (but thankfully no insulin yet!) as well as a really crappy tummy and chest changes. My last sample of 2010 was clear apparently but it never seems to go with how I feel...each clear sample I've had I've been shocked by. BUT, can't complain!
I also had a couple of nice breaks away with James, got a kitten (yay!) and had some nice social engagements, although there could have been more of them. I met some lovely and inspirational people and also met some right bums. I started piano teaching again and am hoping that this will begin to grow in the coming year, but I'd also like a new job to go along with it. Nothing wrong with my care job really but it's sooooo tiring working shifts!
2011 will see me potentially uprooted when James starts his probationary year as a secondary English teacher. It will probably see us the poorest we've ever been when he leaves uni but isn't yet working...and that's an achievement as we've been pretty damn poor over the last 6 months.
So many things have happened that I can't even pull to the front of my mind at the moment, and so many things have yet to happen that I'm sure I couldn't even try to imagine.
I hope everyone has a great 2011!
Wednesday, 15 December 2010
a little ditty...
thought I'd give a quick(ish) update!
I had my work christmas night out on Friday which was pretty good, although some drama always has to happen! Thankfully I wasn't involved :) The meal was...average, nothing special, but there were 2 bands, 1 of which played motown which was awesome.
Um...I played a concert on Saturday with Stewarton Winds then went straight onto night shift. Mistake? Pretty much, I soooooooooo struggled to stay awake and really probably spent at least 2/3 hours of the shift asleep on the couch. Not good, so glad I didn't get caught lol.
On Monday, I went to Garters to see Lisa (physio) to talk through some airway clearance and get an eflow (genius btw). I hadn't received a phone call from the nurses (again) to tell me my sputum result, and even though I phoned and left a message, they never called back, so she sorted that out too. Turns out it grew aspergillus, which totally explains the increase in junk, the wheeze, the rotten cough, the tiredness, blah blah blah. They're not treating it just now though as, god only knows how, but my lung function was still stable. This always happens!! I rumble and crackle then cough like hell every day just now then go to the hospital and my chest behaves ever so well, then as soon as I was in the car home I was away with it again, coughed the whole half hour home. I still record my LF each week on a piko6 for a clinical trial and it's been kinda all over the place.
Anyway, I got some antibiotics incase the psuedo or my usual staph are kickin up a stink in there too, and got a flutter for some different physio. I really like it...not really on it's own as such, but mixed with AD and doing AD through it is good too.
Had a lovely dinner with friends tonight, and am pretty much on the go now right through til after christmas day, and I still don't have all the things I need! Euch, stress and sleepiness, can't be doing with either.
I had my work christmas night out on Friday which was pretty good, although some drama always has to happen! Thankfully I wasn't involved :) The meal was...average, nothing special, but there were 2 bands, 1 of which played motown which was awesome.
Um...I played a concert on Saturday with Stewarton Winds then went straight onto night shift. Mistake? Pretty much, I soooooooooo struggled to stay awake and really probably spent at least 2/3 hours of the shift asleep on the couch. Not good, so glad I didn't get caught lol.
On Monday, I went to Garters to see Lisa (physio) to talk through some airway clearance and get an eflow (genius btw). I hadn't received a phone call from the nurses (again) to tell me my sputum result, and even though I phoned and left a message, they never called back, so she sorted that out too. Turns out it grew aspergillus, which totally explains the increase in junk, the wheeze, the rotten cough, the tiredness, blah blah blah. They're not treating it just now though as, god only knows how, but my lung function was still stable. This always happens!! I rumble and crackle then cough like hell every day just now then go to the hospital and my chest behaves ever so well, then as soon as I was in the car home I was away with it again, coughed the whole half hour home. I still record my LF each week on a piko6 for a clinical trial and it's been kinda all over the place.
Anyway, I got some antibiotics incase the psuedo or my usual staph are kickin up a stink in there too, and got a flutter for some different physio. I really like it...not really on it's own as such, but mixed with AD and doing AD through it is good too.
Had a lovely dinner with friends tonight, and am pretty much on the go now right through til after christmas day, and I still don't have all the things I need! Euch, stress and sleepiness, can't be doing with either.
Wednesday, 24 November 2010
feeling a bit more positive
I'm not gonna apologise for my last blog, it helped me get to sleep that night, but I wish I hadn't let it build up so long and that I'd just talked about it before it got out of hand...I'm a nightmare for that.
Anyway, I feel a bit better this week. I was experiencing my worst PMS in a long time last week! I don't tend to get emotional now that I take evening primrose oil every day (which has been a life saver) so it came as a bit of a shock and got a bit out of control. It's also helped reduce my physical symptoms and my periods don't last as long either which is great as they were lasting 7 - 10 days for a long time.
Anyhoooo, enough about my monthlies, I have better news.
It's panto week! Tonight was the first performance and it went well...a few hic-cups, but nothing major I guess. Only problem is that where the band are sitting it's absolutely freezing, so I struggled to play properly for a while as my fingers seezed up. Anyway, tomorrow is another day and hopefully it won't be so bad. It's been -5degrees at night though and the cast keep leaving the back door open for them to smoke, and it sends a draft right into the hall, underneath the stage, and out the other end where we're sitting! So not only am I freezing but I can smell their smoke, which I hate.
I started piano teaching again last week. My first day went really well, and tomorrow is my 2nd day. I have 4 students so far, aged 8, 9, 16 and 40, so it's quite a mix! Hopefully it'll continue to go well and I'll continue to get more students...I think there were a few enquiries for block lessons as christmas presents and the likes, so maybe after christmas I'll be inundated! haha
On the health front...nothing overly exciting, just my tummy acting up as usual...might need to give the hospital a call to get in for some kleanprep, as the movicol just doesn't cut it. I've had a lot of pain today and been feeling nauseous and bleh really. There have been definite chest changes happening this year, 1 of which only became really apparent last night, and that was that the cold air made me chest really tight and I was wheezing like nothing else. Thankfully I'd lifted my inhaler incase the stage smoke irritated things, but turned out I needed it before even getting started.
Next week I hope to start my christmas shopping :) I'm really looking forward to it, I love buying presents for people, but we're on a tight budget this year, especially as James' motorbike has a puncture so needs at least 1 new tyre, and my car needs 4! Euch. I'm also due to get the car serviced and my road tax is due at the end of December...just seems like a never ending list of things to do, and just when you think you have a bit of money, something happens to use it all up again.
I really hope everyone is feeling well, thinking about you all as always! x
Anyway, I feel a bit better this week. I was experiencing my worst PMS in a long time last week! I don't tend to get emotional now that I take evening primrose oil every day (which has been a life saver) so it came as a bit of a shock and got a bit out of control. It's also helped reduce my physical symptoms and my periods don't last as long either which is great as they were lasting 7 - 10 days for a long time.
Anyhoooo, enough about my monthlies, I have better news.
It's panto week! Tonight was the first performance and it went well...a few hic-cups, but nothing major I guess. Only problem is that where the band are sitting it's absolutely freezing, so I struggled to play properly for a while as my fingers seezed up. Anyway, tomorrow is another day and hopefully it won't be so bad. It's been -5degrees at night though and the cast keep leaving the back door open for them to smoke, and it sends a draft right into the hall, underneath the stage, and out the other end where we're sitting! So not only am I freezing but I can smell their smoke, which I hate.
I started piano teaching again last week. My first day went really well, and tomorrow is my 2nd day. I have 4 students so far, aged 8, 9, 16 and 40, so it's quite a mix! Hopefully it'll continue to go well and I'll continue to get more students...I think there were a few enquiries for block lessons as christmas presents and the likes, so maybe after christmas I'll be inundated! haha
On the health front...nothing overly exciting, just my tummy acting up as usual...might need to give the hospital a call to get in for some kleanprep, as the movicol just doesn't cut it. I've had a lot of pain today and been feeling nauseous and bleh really. There have been definite chest changes happening this year, 1 of which only became really apparent last night, and that was that the cold air made me chest really tight and I was wheezing like nothing else. Thankfully I'd lifted my inhaler incase the stage smoke irritated things, but turned out I needed it before even getting started.
Next week I hope to start my christmas shopping :) I'm really looking forward to it, I love buying presents for people, but we're on a tight budget this year, especially as James' motorbike has a puncture so needs at least 1 new tyre, and my car needs 4! Euch. I'm also due to get the car serviced and my road tax is due at the end of December...just seems like a never ending list of things to do, and just when you think you have a bit of money, something happens to use it all up again.
I really hope everyone is feeling well, thinking about you all as always! x
Friday, 19 November 2010
is this how an angry mother feels?
possibly?
I'm so raging...deep inside, I can't shake it. It's always there at the moment, and it's basically because all I'm doing is running around after people and getting absolutely no thanks for it. A burning rage that is stopping me sleeping (as if I didn't have enough of a problem sleeping at the moment).
I spend my working day running around after people and getting fuck all thanks for it, then I come home and cook and clean and run around after his royal highness who can't even wash a bloody plate. I know he has a hard uni course to do, but all I'm asking is that he at least contribute to the running of this place...all he needs to do is wash the dishes, and I'm sitting here again without a single fucking clean cup, glass, plate or tea spoon, all of which there are many, cause they haven't fucking been washed.
I feed the animals, clean them out, make dinner, clean both the bathrooms, put both our rubbish in the bin (cause he's apparently allergic to putting things in the bin too), tidy, hoover...then go and do it all again at work.
The only reason I'm even mentioning it on here is cause I've done nothing but moan for days about how nothing is getting done, and its still not done...
I'm so angry I could cry...granted I'm a bit hormonal, but what female isn't.
I might as well live myself at this rate, at least then I would only have myself to blame but I would probably have a tidier house anyway.
I'm so raging...deep inside, I can't shake it. It's always there at the moment, and it's basically because all I'm doing is running around after people and getting absolutely no thanks for it. A burning rage that is stopping me sleeping (as if I didn't have enough of a problem sleeping at the moment).
I spend my working day running around after people and getting fuck all thanks for it, then I come home and cook and clean and run around after his royal highness who can't even wash a bloody plate. I know he has a hard uni course to do, but all I'm asking is that he at least contribute to the running of this place...all he needs to do is wash the dishes, and I'm sitting here again without a single fucking clean cup, glass, plate or tea spoon, all of which there are many, cause they haven't fucking been washed.
I feed the animals, clean them out, make dinner, clean both the bathrooms, put both our rubbish in the bin (cause he's apparently allergic to putting things in the bin too), tidy, hoover...then go and do it all again at work.
The only reason I'm even mentioning it on here is cause I've done nothing but moan for days about how nothing is getting done, and its still not done...
I'm so angry I could cry...granted I'm a bit hormonal, but what female isn't.
I might as well live myself at this rate, at least then I would only have myself to blame but I would probably have a tidier house anyway.
Saturday, 13 November 2010
facing facts
Well, I had to face facts today and go buy smaller bras lol. My weight has been falling since at least July and I must've gone down 2 sizes...first time in ages and it feels a bit weird but nevermind. Even the smaller sizes I bought when I lost weight last year don't fit now.
Thankfully I'm not too thin but if I can't stablise my weight or at least start maintaining again then the dietician wants me on supplements...and that'll be the first time since I was about 16 I think. I actually can't remember when I stopped taking them but nevermind, it's been ages anyway.
I don't really know what else to talk about, everything else is really just the same. I've been applying for new jobs and getting no where so far but I've sent another application away today so fingers crossed! I'm starting piano teaching again on Thursday :) I have 3 students so far on a Thursday afternoon/evening and I have space for another 3 before having to start another day. Thankfully this time I will be able to teach what and how I want to, instead of having to teach Yamaha's keyboard course and teaching in the way they do...it was extremely unnatural for me and I didn't enjoy it at all.
Hope everyone is feeling as well as possible and having a good weekend :) x
Thankfully I'm not too thin but if I can't stablise my weight or at least start maintaining again then the dietician wants me on supplements...and that'll be the first time since I was about 16 I think. I actually can't remember when I stopped taking them but nevermind, it's been ages anyway.
I don't really know what else to talk about, everything else is really just the same. I've been applying for new jobs and getting no where so far but I've sent another application away today so fingers crossed! I'm starting piano teaching again on Thursday :) I have 3 students so far on a Thursday afternoon/evening and I have space for another 3 before having to start another day. Thankfully this time I will be able to teach what and how I want to, instead of having to teach Yamaha's keyboard course and teaching in the way they do...it was extremely unnatural for me and I didn't enjoy it at all.
Hope everyone is feeling as well as possible and having a good weekend :) x
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